Starry Night
by Death's Last Wish
Summary: How much longer can I hide these feelings?" I wondered... I knew what I was about to do, and I knew that I could never take it back. Kames OneShot


**I've been working on this for about three days, I know it's way short for three whole days but I had writers block. Anyways, here's a short Kames slash for all you readers. Enjoy~!**

**Oh and, Happy Easter by the way.**

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Kendall Knight:

It had all started in the summer of 5th grade. Falling in love with James Diamond was never my intention. But during that summer, I realized it in a moment. I was lying in bed that summer, looking at the ceiling. I was thinking of nothing in particular, when all of a sudden, _James_.

I gasped, surprised with myself. Just as quickly as I had got the thought, I lost it. But it came back throughout the night, always saying the same word. _James, James, James_. I gasped again as I realized that I missed him that night. No, not just missed him, I wanted him. I pictured him lying next to me, his baby doll face slightly creased with the force of a wide smile. His hazel eyes bright with happiness.

My heart started racing as I pictured these thoughts, and I quickly put my hand over it. It felt like it was beating 100 times per minute. I didn't know why, so I dropped my hand and let myself concentrate on nothing. I noticed a pain in my chest, small at first, but it grew rapidly. I felt a hollow loneliness spread through my heart, making my chest tight making it hard to breathe. _I want James_, I thought. And then I realized that I'd wanted him for a very long time

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The night before we heard about the audition, James and I were lying in my tree house. Carlos and Logan were working on a science project at their own house while my mom and Katie were at the mall. It was only 6 p.m. yet it was dark out, so James and I were gazing up at the stars through the small square of glass on my tree house roof. The beat up vintage radio was turned on to the Oldies Station, playing Michael Jackson's Thriller.

James started humming along to the familiar tune softly, peacefully. I closed my eyes, relaxed, and took a deep breath, inhaling James' warm scent. The faint cinnamon apple scent of my house infused with his part pine, part woodland cologne sent shivers of guilty pleasure up my spine.

The song ended and was replaced with the DJ saying something about love. After awhile, the talking melted into a smooth romantic jazz. James and I were silent, awkwardly listening to the song. Finally, I reached over and switched the radio off.

We laid there in silence as the minutes ticked by, looking at the stars and marveling their beauty in awe.

I felt eyes looking at me and turned my head slightly. James. He was watching me. I felt the heat and blood rush to my face. _James_ beckoned the voice in my head again. I jerked my head the opposite direction and shut my eyes. _How much longer can I hide these feelings_ I wondered.

His eyes were still fixed on me. I pictured his hazel eyes flecked with emerald gazing at me. My heart was racing again and my breath was gradually getting shorter, quicker. I could feel all the longing in my body; every morsel, molecule, and being of me wanted to reach out and stroke his sandy brown hair. I bit my lip and willed my feelings to pass, but they were stone. They weren't going anywhere. I had to control myself.

"Kendall…" James' voice cut into my distress. I opened my eyes and turned towards him. His face was full of honest concern. "Is something bothering you?"

_Yes, something __**is**__ bothering me. I love you. I love you so much it hurts, yet I can't ever tell you. _But, of course, I'd never say that out loud. "Nah… why?" I asked instead.

"You just look so…" James sighed, trying to find the right word. "Distant," he said finally.

I faked a laugh. Oh wow, perfect way to describe it too, fake sounding; one of those nervous-laughs.

"Something **is** bothering you," James accused, his voice now tinged with the concern reflecting on his face. "Tell me what it is?" he asked caringly. "Please?" His eyes were pleading.

I froze. I was really going to do this. I knew what I was about to do, and I knew that I could never take it back. Once he pulled that adorable face that resembled an innocent, loving puppy, I was a goner. "James…" I started. I shut my eyes again, trying to find the words to say. My hands felt clammy and my heart was picking up speed again. I wanted to back down, to stop in my tracks, but I'd already begun and he had to know this; to know how I felt. He at least deserved that. "I love you," I finally blurted out. "I mean I really love you. And you don't have to return my feelings, just please accept them. Because I love you so much that it hurts to see you every day, to change with you in the hockey locker room, to share a bed with you during sleepovers. It hurts… so damn much," I confessed. I took a deep breath and opened my eyes.

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James Diamond:

_Holy Shit. Holy shit. Holy mother fucking shit._ Kendall had just said he loved me. On that day, in that moment, I was probably the happiest man alive.

I watched as Kendall's face fell. _Oh my God! What does my face look like right now? _I panicked. _Shocked? Amazed? Disgusted?!_

"Forget about it," Kendall's warm voice interjected my thoughts. My heart dropped; his voice was full of embarrassment. _No, no, no, no ,no! This is __**not**__ how I want this to happen!_ I shut my eyes just as Kendall did, knowing what I was about to say would change my life.

"Kendall, I love you too. So much, and I'm talking like, one million times more than I love my hair or becoming famous. My life is meaningless without you; meaningless, worthless, and miserable. I love you, Kendall Knight, with all my heart."

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Kendall Knight:

_Fuck. Oh my God. _James had just basically said he'd die for me. I was expecting some name calling and disgusted looks but wow. My eyes were wide.

"Can I…? James' sweet voice trailed off.

"Yes." I answered, already knowing what he was asking.

James shifted closer to me until we were side by side, our shoulders touching. We looked into each other's eyes for what seemed like forever, until he finally leaned in and kissed me. I let my eyes fall closed, enjoying the touch of his lips on mine.

The kiss was just a peck on the lips, but slowly became deeper. James' tongue and my own were fight for dominance, but of course, I let him win. A soft moan escaped my lips and James smiled.

And that was it. I wished that moment would last forever. My first kiss, with James and me lying on the floor of my tree house, our arms and legs entwined. On a starry night.

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**Review please.**

**xoxo**


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